"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan
DEX (Dexterity) Resilience
Dexterity is a measure of agility and speed, and in The Game we will refer to DEX as a representation of your character's Resilience. It measures how fast you can bounce back from setbacks. It measures your agility when dealing with drastic changes that affect your daily life. This attribute is important for characters who want to thrive during crisis situations and learn as much as they can from moments of failure.
Reflex is a special DEX save from impulsive reactions. During times of uncertainty and unexpected events, our base instincts may take over our actions. Adventurers with low DEX are quick to react to these triggers, while high DEX will give Adventurers enough quick wit to understand all pertinent factors before taking action.
Every time you make a mistake, you are devastated. You learn nothing from your errant ways. When you lose a job or a loved one, you feel like it's the end of the world. And, for you, sometimes it really is.
You are extremely competitive and you want to win because you hate losing.
You are set in your ways and you believe it is futile to change.
You are argumentative and confrontational. You treat discussions and conversations as debates. You see all forms of communication as venues to assert your opinion. All offense against you and and the people you identify with are personal.
It takes little to make you happy. You want to live a simple life without risk and danger. It also takes little to upset you.
You remember regretful times and you wish you could just forget them.
When you lose something or lose at something, it takes a while for you to let go and move on, just like everyone else.
You try to convince yourself that you have no regrets or you don't believe in regrets.
When everything goes wrong, you just know that something has to change somehow. After a number of denials and heartaches, you realize that change can only come from yourself.
When you make mistakes, you admit that you are responsible for what happens next, for how you recover and for how you manage the consequences.
You see the world objectively and know what you want. You start to try to do things and expect the best but prepare for the worst.
You are failing so many times and that's just expected. Frustration is no longer an option. Skepticism, pessimism and sarcasm are concepts you no longer use.
You accept both positive and negative aspects of life. You know that maintaining a cool disposition is important in achieving your goals and improving your overall happiness as well as the well-being of the people around you.
You realize that you have regrets but accept that they are an indisputable part of life.
On rare occasions that errors happen, you have foreseen the scenario and you know exactly what to do to make it better. You then make adjustments so that similar errors do not happen again.
You have made all the mistakes you need and now you can anticipate them before they happen. You expect that failure is a requirement for learning. You know how to take calculated risks and mitigate foreseeable challenges. People see you as brave and daring. You see yourself the same way with the knowledge that you can survive any outcome. You don't gamble.
From disabled to super-abled, Aimee Mullins shows the world how one can exceed limitations beyond anybody expected including herself..
Another Adventurer with exceedingly high DEX, Caroline Casey's resilience gives her a 19 score I think. Here's a side quest for you: Think of an area in your life that you can't do or improve by yourself, an area where you need help. Just one thing. Then approach a random person, from a stranger to a loved one, tell them your problem or challenge and admit to them, "I need help."
Just to review, CHARM+ is the acronym for the components of happiness. It stands for Challenge, Health, Accomplishment, Relationships, Meaning and (+) Positive Emotions. Click here for the initial post. Click here for a practical application.
I've been using the Happy Charm+ for my daily tasks and longer-term goals for a couple of weeks now and I realize that tasks will affect one component more than the others. Let's say I'm washing the dishes. I see it as a task that gives me a sense of Accomplishment more than it provides Challenge or Positive Emotions. It certainly will give me better Health, Relationships with my family and a sense of Meaning doing my part as a member of a family. So, can I represent those levels using the CHARM+? Most definitely.
It's not just a matter of "Does this task or goal give me a happy component?" Instead I can ask, "What level of influence will this task or goal affect a particular happy component?" Let's take a look at the 3 levels.
Level 0: Lowest Acceptable Minimum
The center point of the Hex is the zero point. This means that what you are doing has no effect on your happiness whatsoever. I had to put this here to make it clear to you and to myself that this should be the lowest level that any task should occupy. There is no negative level. A task or quest that diminishes any component of your happiness is not worth doing. Period. If you are playing the game, if you are aware of living your own life openly, actively and gainfully, you will not create your own unhappiness.
Level 1: Splash
At this level, the task or quest has an indirect effect on this component. You are not sure how, or why, or you don't really need or want to explain yourself to your self. So just put it at the first level, the first line from the zero point.
Level 2: Cascade
The task or quest strongly supports the component. The effect could be a trickle or a waterfall, but putting it at this level means that it will take a few steps to get there. In our example of washing the dishes, having a good relationship with your family members is a Cascade effect of performing the chore.
Level 3: Fully Drenched
This brings us to the main purpose of performing the task. This means that you are doing what you are doing because of this primary component of happiness. It may not be the most important component, but you feel or you are consciously aware of the instantaneous effect for your effort. Washing the dishes gives you a direct result of maintaining a healthy environment and preventing disease.
Here's an example.
Task/Quest: Getting some sun. All humans need sun exposure regularly. The darker your skin, the more sun you need. I plot Level 3 for Health, Level 2 for Challenge (because it's kinda hard to find time to sun bathe) and for (+) because I enjoy the sun's warmth, Level 1 for Accomplishment, but Level 0 for Relationship (unless you go on a beach vacation with family or friends) and Meaning.
Here's a TED talk explaining the wonder of sun exposure.
Yesterday I was watching Jane McGonigal's sermon on Productivity. I went along with her activity on making To Do lists and realized that it would be the perfect time to use the Happy CHARM+ Hex.
From now on, whenever I'll be writing down lists of tasks to do, I can just put a hexagon on the upper right hand corner. All items I list down will then be judged using the CHARM+ filter. Even mundane tasks like chores will now have the benefit of being part of the bigger picture because of the Hex. It gives me the much needed perspective when looking at tasks that I normally delay, postpone or worse end up not doing.
The Hex can also be used when writing down goals. Sometimes I don't realize why I do what I do. Sometimes I do things just because I can. For instance, career advancement. Getting promoted is generally a good thing, but sometimes it does not fit into my mission, vision or long-term goals.
The Happy Hex is so easy remember I can just pop it right in its own corner on any list, plan or strategy that I am doing.
Click here to take another look at the components of CHARM+.
In the game of Real Life, players must track their Happiness status all the time. This is of utmost importance because one of the most common encounter with other characters is the "How Are You?" Daily Quest. When done properly, this quest can be a good source of regular Experience Points (XP). Proper handling of the encounter has the potential of increasing all 6 aspects of happiness.
But, first, let us look into these aspects. What exactly does CHARM+ stand for?
C for Challenge & Curiosity over Choice & Control
Challenge is one of the factors that determines Flow. This is a term coined by M. Csikszentmihalyi. It is a state where you are completely engaged in an activity. The main factors being perceived level of skill and perceived difficulty or challenge of the task. So, the player must check to see if his level of Challenge for a quest matches his level of Skill. All players must always strive to increase their skill levels and look for greater Challenges as they gain experience.
Humans need time & space to exercise their freedom. Control over your own life is an important factor in determining your satisfaction in a given task. Choice as a good thing is mostly perceptual. This means that choice could also be a hindrance to happiness. Overall, if choice or control are focused on outcomes rather than the process then you're better off in making sure there's an exciting Challenge for you.
Curiosity, on the other hand, is a natural instinct for humans. Feeding our own curiosity is an "autotelic" activity. It means that they activity itself is the goal and there is no other agenda.
H for Health
CHARM+ is based on Positive Psychology's PERMA. But, PERMA lacks the physical component of Health. I believe this is because positive psychology starts with the well individual. In the game of real life, you need to track your Health in everything that you do. This is particularly important when you are trying to stop or replace bad habits like smoking, drinking, overeating, and promoting good habits like exercise and drinking water.
A for Accomplishment & Autonomy
Success is one of the most popular forms of Happiness. A lot of people think that they will be happy once they become successful. On the contrary, players should know that Happiness is the best way to achieve success. More importantly, the player's perceived capacity to reach success is enough to boost this component. If you are working towards a goal, and you think, feel and believe that you will reach this goal in time, you can place a high mark on this aspect.
R for Relationship
Humanity is deeply rooted in our sense of community. In the game, players must strive to have good relations with each and every human being. The minimum level should be at least at civility. Citizens who have lingering shadows of fear or hate for another person cannot play the full version of the game. A good relationship will foster symbiosis and synergy towards transformation and transcendence.
M for Meaning
Another game master, Jane McGonigal, qualifies this as Epic Meaning. Players must find their own niche and corners of the sky to be an important part of something great, something awe-inspiring, of something bigger than themselves.
+ for Positive Emotions
This aspect needs no elaboration. Simply, this is the good stuff you feel when you are happy. This part is a bit problematic as there is what I call the Hedonistic Threshold. Once we crave for something, say food, once we fulfill that desire, another craving is created. At some point, we go past our threshold for that pleasure and we tend to want more in something akin to addictive tolerance. Basically, the more we want, the more we want.
So, in everything that you do, try to keep every aspect of happiness in balance.
Going back to our example, a "How are you?" encounter done right immediately increases your + H R and also increases C A M in the long run depending on the bond you form with the other character. That is why it is always good to know how you are actually feeling at the moment. Using CHARM+ you can never be insincere when answering the most basic of questions, "How are you?" Game on!
Side Quest: Ask 3 people "How are you?" and really mean it. Ask a follow-up question to let them know you really want to know how they are doing. Find out how life is treating them at that point and use your emerging power of Empathy to build a stronger bond. Then, visualize your Happiness Hex improve.
